
Cheryl, Mohamed, Abdo and Ruth
Eulogies to my cousin Mohamed - May 1, 1943 - Feb 1, 2007
Bismillah, Al-Raham, Al-Raheem. (In the name of God, the Beneficiant, the Merciful)
On February 1, 2007, at 7:10am, my late ex-husband's cousin, Mohamed Anam died in the Surgical Intestive Care Unit of the hospital I work at, of complications from open heart surgery. I checked in on him during the night and was told he was not doing too good. He was still intubated following his surgery from a couple of days before. At 6:45am, I checked in him again and the nurses told me they were getting ready to code him. After clocking out, I returned to the SICU, and they told me to wait in the waiting room. At 7:30am, Millie came and told me that he had passed. His cousin Ali (my former brother-in-law) arrived at about 7:45, and we both went in to say goodbye to Mohamed.
Mohamed was native of Yemen Arab Republic and was a small man, just over 5 feet tall and probably weighed 120 pounds, soaking wet. He drank a lot, usually beer, and the only bad thing you could say about him was sometimes he had a big mouth. (one of the first sentances I put together in Arabic when I was learning the language was to tell Mohamed "Shut up little man with big mouth").
I first met Mohamed on June 27, 1975, a week after his cousin Abdo and I started dating. We were at his apartment, drinking beer and having a great time. Although Abdo and I were together for only one week at that point, we were already deeply in love, and it showed. So at one point, Mohamed picked up our hands and put them together. "Abdo, do you love this woman?" he asked. Abdo said yes. "Ruth, do you love this man?" I said yes. Mohamed then said, "You are husband and wife." We then raised our bottles of beer in a toast! Thus, Mohamed "married" Abdo and me.
In 1978, Mohamed was dating a Puerto Rican woman named Elba, who was originally from Chicago. In August 1978, me and Abdo, Mohamed and Elba, and Elba's nephew Rueben piled into our car we went off to Chicago. Rueben's parents and siblings were in Puerto Rico at the time, so we stayed in their apartment for a few days. Mohamed, Abdo and me went to the Field Museum to the see the King Tut exhibit. The lines for just the tickets were very long. We dropped Mohamed off to get in line while we parked the car. When we got back to the musuem, we couldn't find him in either of the two long lines that began at the ticket booths inside the museum foyer, out the doors, down the stairs, around the corner, and down the block. "Where did he go?" we wondered. Abdo decided to check in the foyer. There was Mohamed. The little guy had managed to cut in line and he and Abdo got our tickets for a viewing time for that afternoon, after only waiting 10 minutes.
Even after Mohamed broke up with Elba, he remained friends with many of the Puerto Ricans on the Lower West Side of Buffalo, and we had many good times in the Puerto Rican Social Clubs. I can't remember when he started dating Cheryl, but she moved in with him when she was only 17. She had just graduated from high school and wanted to go to nursing school. Mohamed not only encouraged her to get her education, he helped pay her college costs.
In 1985, Abdo and I broke up and the following year, my friendship with my friend John deepened to romantic love. Mohamed was very happy for us. John and I attended Cheryl's college graduation party and during the party, Mohamed's big mouth got him into a fight with one of our other friends, Ali Thabit. Pretty soon, Ali and Mohamed were throwing punches at each other, and at one point, Ali's wristwatch fell off and Mohamed grabbed it (or Mohamed yanked it off his arm). John broke up the fight and Mohamed was gleefully jumping up and down exclaiming, "I got his watch. I got his watch!"
I lost contact with Mohamed after that, even after Abdo came back to Buffalo in 1994. I know that he was still in Buffalo around 2001, because Abdo had been sharing an apartment with him for a couple of months. He moved out because he couldn't stand Mohamed's big mouth. "The guy never shuts up." Abdo complained to me.
At the time of Abdo's death in Yemen on August 19, 2003, I heard that Mohamed was in Germany. I only found out that Mohamed was in the hospital a couple of days before his death as I was searching the patient roster in the computer for the location of another patient.
Although I had not had contact with Mohamed for the past 20 years, I still feel that he was my cousin. And I loved him.
Although he drank too much at times, and could be obnoxious, he was such a loving man, you quickly forgave him.
At his bedside on the morning of his death, his cousin Ali made the phone calls to the Iman of the Lackawanna mosque and made the funeral arrangements. I said my goodbyes to Mohamed at that time. I held his face and kissed him.
Goodbye my cousin. I love you. Your big mouth was surpassed by your big heart.